Til Death Do Us Part!!!

At the stroke of 12, I had a very leary feeling, almost morbid. I guess it's because it's been one year since my sister passed away. It's hard to even say that. Who knew within a to year span I would lose two family members back to back. I know God has a better plan for the ones he takes. But, the flesh of soul can't understand death. I mean it's wild, for me death comes when I'm at my highest point.It's begining to be so I hate to have fun, because in the back of my mind I'm trying to figure out whose next to go. But it's really hurtful when your down to only five people who are left out of a once huge family circle. Remembering all the christmas's and the backyard bbq's, now my parents are up in age, and really don't have the strength to do what they used to do. And that's a miserable way to live life. I mean that's why I'm so into monitary Items and materialism. For a few Mins it's an escape from the hurt. Man, I be goin deeper, I just want my parents to live long enough to see my pookie and I get married and have kids. I want to be able to repay them for what they've done for me over thses years. The hard part is it may not be in God's plan. My arms are way too short to box with god, so I just have to take it with a grain of salt. I heard yesterday God called one of his faithful few home. A pastor was preaching in the pulpit and in the middle of the word, slumped over had a heart attack and died. God is just not calling the sick, the sinners and the unsaved,he's calling everyone. It's just the ones who are left here to toss and turn with the question why? As people, we can be some of the most hateful and ungreatful. We spend most of our time at eachother's throats, not understanding the bigger picture. Life is too presious to be actin this way. My father was preaching on sunday, and he said something that really hit me. People spend theor whole time debating the existence of a heaven or a hell. But lets just say there are such things, and you spent your days living under the devil's grasp? Are you ready to spend your days in the lake of fire? Or would you serve out your days on the straight and narrow, to see the streets that are paved in gold? Some would say that's a risk they are willilng to take!!! But literally you are playing with fire.