LOOKING AT LIFE FROM A DISTANCE!!!!!

AZ I LOOK AT MY FUTURE IT SEEMZ SO BRIGHT!!!! IN MY HEART I FEEL I'M KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF GREATNESS!!! I LOVE THIZ LIFE AND THE OPPURTUNITIZ THAT GOD HAZ GIVEN ME. IT ALL BECOMEZ SO OVER WHELMING TO ME BECAUZE IN SOME INSTANCEZ I FEEL I DON'T DESERVE IT. MAYBE THATZ THE REAZON I ALLOWED FOUR CHANCEZ OF GREATNESS TO SLIP OUT OF MY GRASP. IN MY HEAD I TRY TO RATIONALIZE MY THOUGHTZ OF WHY I DIDN'T CAPITALIZE ON MY CHANCEZ. WAZ IT FEAR??? FEAR OF THE PRESSURE OF SUCCESS??? THE FEAR OF BEING OBLIGATED??? THE FEAR OF FAILURE??? WHEN I LOOK BACK AT IT, FEAR IZ WHAT HAD ME CHAINED LIKE AN ANIMAL. I GUESS THIZ IZ WHY I GO SO HARD ON MY 5TH CHANCE. DESPITE ALL MY FLAWZ GOD STILL CONTINUEZ TO BLESS ME WITH CHANCEZ. HE'Z STILL ABLE TO SEE GREATNESS AMONGST THE DIRT THAT COVERZ THIZ HEAVY HEART. HE'Z ABLE TO CLEAR THE CLOUD OF DEPRESSION THAT RAINZ ON THE PARADE OF LIFE. HE'Z GIVIN ME THE CHANCE TO SEE LIFE OUTSIDE OF THEZE FOUR WALLZ CALLED NEW HAVEN!!!! WHERE MY PEERZ CAN ONLY SEE THERE BLOCKZ AND NEIGHBORHOODZ. I SEE GREEN GRASS, THE BLUE SEA, I SEE PEACE!!!! SOMETHING I TRY TO ATTAIN EVERY CHANCE I GET. A FEELING THAT DOEZN'T INVOLVE SLICK TALK, CURSING, GUNZ, VIOLENCE, AND ECT. IN MY HEAD I KNOW THIZ LIFE IZ ATTAINABLE ON EARTH. WE DON'T HAVE TO DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN JUST TO FIND THIZ TYPE OF LIFESTYLE. IT SHOULD JUST BE ON THE HEARTZ OF PEOPLE TO WANT TO ATTAIN WHAT GOD HAZ FOR THEM. IN MY HEART IT KILLZ ME HOW PEOPLE ONLY VIEW AND UZE OTHERZ FOR THE VALUE/WORTH OF THEIR PERCEPTION. SO IF PEOPLE SEE NOTHING IN YOU, YOUR WORTH IZ NOTHING IN THEIR EYEZ. IF THEY FEEL ALL YOUR GOOD FOR IZ A PLAY TOY, THEN YOU'LL BE PLAYED WITH. BUT I'M GOD SEE'Z THE BEST WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE SEE'Z THE WORST. PEOPLE SEE MY EXTERIOR BUT GOD SEE'Z MY INTERIOR. AND IN THE END AZ LONG AZ GOD UNDERSTANZ THIZ HEART, THAT'Z ALL THAT MATTERZ. GREATNESS IZ AROUND THE CORNER. I'M NOT STOPPING UNTIL I GET THERE. I KNOW GOD DOEZ NOT WANT HIZ PEOPLE TO SUFFER. HE WANTZ TO SEE HIZ FOLLOWERZ HAPPY. HE WANTZ TO SEE UZ ALL BLESSED AND PROSPEROUS!!!! AZ I LOOK AT LIFE FROM A DISTANCE I CAN FEEL IT COMING CLOSER. I JUST HAVE TO BE READY TO RECEIVE IT.